Choose your way
by Rendeer
Summary: Gaara and Hinata fall in love with each other, after Naruto brought Gaara with him to meet his friends.
1. Chapter 1

I don't know what to say.. this is my first story I publish, so please tell me my mistakes, because there are so much possibilities to make some. This is a GaaHina story, of course I don't own Naruto, what would I do here, if I did?! There is nothing more to say, enjoy reading and please review!

(Sorry I had to delete the story and upload it again, I had some trouble with my Internet connection.)

Chapter I

Like everyday, Hinata was with the gang of Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. She and Ino were best friends and were waiting for Naruto together with the gang. They wanted to go eat some Ramen and have fun today. Ino did that only for Hinata, who always went with the gang just to see Naruto. But Ino had to promise not trying to help Hinata, even if she didn't understand why. "Damn he's late", Sakura said and glanced at Ino. They never became real friends again, although they both weren't after Sasuke anymore and Hinata tried to make them talk to each other more. Ino was with Lee now and Sakura seemed to have some secret lover, too. But Hinata didn't really know much about it. Suddenly Naruto appeared and Hinata immediately forgot about Ino's and Sakura's private life. But there was some red-haired guy with Naruto. Hinata glared at the others and saw them staring at the strange boy with wide open eyes. She looked back at them and recognized this violent sand ninja she knew from the chuunin-exam at Naruto's side. "You!", Sasuke said with detestation in his voice. Gaara said nothing and looked away. "Sasuke…", Naruto seemed wanting to explain something to them.

_Flashback_

Shukaku had the power over Gaara. He wanted blood and right now there was this damn little brat, who once defeated him, walking with a smile on his stupid face underneath the tree they were sitting on. 'No', Gaara thought, 'not HIM. Just leave him alone!' and tried to suppress the voice in his head. Shukaku laughed, jumped with Gaara's body down the tree and now stood in front of the blonde boy. "What do you…", Naruto began, but Gaara attacked him immediately. He threw spiky shaped sand on the boy's chest, face and stomach. But Naruto ducked and could avoid being hit by them. Suddenly Gaara disappeared in a whirlwind of sand and appeared again behind the blonde boy. Naruto didn't react fast enough and was covered with a blanket of sand soon. 'We couldn't defeat him last time, why should we now?', Gaara tried to get control over the monster inside him, but he wasn't strong enough. Shukaku laughed. 'We've almost won. I know that not that is your problem, you fool! Do you like him?' 'No, I don't!', Gaara only thought coldly, but deep inside he hoped the blonde boy maybe was the first to understand him. Naruto tried to free himself with the replacement technique but Shukaku compacted the sand even more, so he couldn't. The monster knew that it wasn't that easy to kill that boy, but he enjoyed it. 'Leave him alone, damn!', Gaara growled in his mind and tried once more to get his body back. He didn't mind what happened to this boy, but he knew he was strong. He didn't want to provoke him, because he sure was able to do more than he had showed until now. Last time they fought he had proved that. He didn't get the whole control back, but the monster lost the power over it long enough for Naruto to free himself from the sand. He took a step forward and shouted: "You won't get near my friends again!" and formed the seal for the shadow replication technique. Gaara's body threw again some sharp arrows of sand towards Naruto, but this time from behind. The shadow replications got hit and disappeared, but one striped Naruto's shoulder. "Look at me! Just look at me! What do you see?" "A damn weak brat that wants to die!", Shukaku shouted with kind of madness in his voice and an evil grin on the face and his sand arms darted in Naruto's direction. Naruto jumped on a tree over Gaara, Shukaku missed him, so he wanted to kick his head, but Gaara ducked and Naruto flew over him and landed on his feet on the ground. "I was the same as you once", Naruto tried heavy breathing to change Gaara's mind again, "you have seen the monster I have inside. And I'm okay with that. I also managed to find friends, so why shouldn't you? It's your own fault if you don't even try!" Shukaku wanted to laugh, but suddenly he was kicked out of Gaara's mind and Gaara cried: "Shut up!" and hold his aching head. Naruto, ready to defend himself, thought it was useless now to talk any more, but Gaara jumped down the tree and said a bit shyly: "So what about you? Would you be my friend?" and crossed his arms back to their dismissive standard position. But he looked to the ground and seemed to be embarrassed. Naruto first was a little confused, but then a big smile spread on his face and he took Gaara by his arm and pulled him along with him.

End Flashback 

"So why not? Let's go!", Ino shrugged. "Are you…", Sakura began and looked afraid at Gaara. Hinata was confused, but she wasn't afraid anymore.

When they ate Ramen, Hinata watched Gaara. He stood beneath them and didn't say a word. Sakura had no money with her, so Naruto treated her, what she reluctantly accepted and made Hinata a bit jealous. In the end they were all waiting for Naruto, who was eating his fifth bowl. They were talking and laughing together and Hinata was happy with watching Naruto, just Gaara stood there with his crossed arms and said nothing.

After Naruto had finished his meal they went to the Konoha lake to go bathing. Gaara sat on a rock while the others had fun in the water, later Sasuke and Naruto sat down next to him and the three girls were talking a bit off. The girls didn't know what they were talking about, but Naruto, Sasuke and Gaara seemed to understand each other. "This is weird", Sakura began to talk. "I wonder how they really became friends this fast", Ino said and watched Sakura who avoided her look. Sakura kicked the rock they were sitting on and looked in the sky. "What shall we do?", she asked. "I think we should be friendly, he seems to be lonely", Hinata dared to say. Ino and Sakura looked at her. "Yeah", Ino nodded.

'What the hell?! What have you done?', Shukaku and Gaara asked the same question in his mind. He sat beneath Sasuke and Naruto who were talking about their childhood to prove they understood him. He listened to them. 'They really seem to understand what I am feeling… friends, eh?' 'You don't need a friend! You just need me, you always just needed me! And you lived until now, only thanks to me! And you were happy by killing and being in the darkness! Why change that?' Shukaku's voice sounded in his mind. 'Happy?! I never was happy! It was nice, kind of melancholic maybe, but it did never make me happy! To change that loneliness would be…' 'You fool!', Shukaku interrupted scornful his line of thought, 'you really think they're serious? You're born to kill, not to love' 'what do you know about love?', he spat. 'Though what do you know about it?', Shukaku asked deceitful. Naruto and Sasuke were still talking, when Gaara reached for his head and began to scream of pain.

They wanted to take him to the hospital, but Gaara could not be convinced to go there. "Don't worry", he said roughly.

The next day they wandered through Konoha. They tried to involve Gaara into their talk, but he didn't really want to talk. In the end nobody dared to say anything anymore, not even Ino. Suddenly Naruto said: "Er.. why did you actually come to Konoha?" "Don't know", Gaara said shortly, "just walking". "I see", Naruto said and looked on the ground. 'Liar', Shukaku enjoyed to see him suffering. "Damn, it's all my fault!", he said out loud, "I don't fit into such a group" "Well, you don't actually seem WANTING to manage with us", Ino said with anger. Even Naruto couldn't hide anymore that he was angry. Only Hinata was a little shocked and put softly a hand on Ino's shoulder to calm her down. And Gaara was falling into the darkness again. There was nothing but him and this endless darkness. He questioned their purpose and still didn't really trust them and somehow hated himself for that. 'No', he whispered. Then, he saw that girl. She didn't look afraid as the others when they recognized his change. This was… solicitude. Gaara looked up at her and tried to smile. "So.. what about your names?" The next days were the best in Gaara's previous life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter II

He has been with Naruto and his friends for one week now and he still felt that distrust with them. No, not with all of them. Hinata seemed to trust him, he had tried to talk to her, but it was difficult. She seemed to search Naruto's nearness. Gaara stood on the roof of a Konoha's house. He was thinking. Why did he really come here in the first place? Did his subconscious lead him here, because it was remembering Naruto as someone to understand him? 'Can you really be that weak?', Shukaku intervened scornful in his line of thought. 'Don't you miss it? Don't you miss seeing blood? Feeling it?' 'No', Gaara only thought, but he knew it was a lie. He wanted to kill someone, he wanted blood again, but he would not show weakness to Shukaku again, he would NEVER be weak to him. For his new friends! For Naruto, who understood him! No… for Hinata! Hinata, who obviously loved Naruto! When he thought of her, he felt some kind of stabbing in his heart. 'What is this?', he wondered and reached for his chest. 'That is weakness', Shukaku said derogative. 'Do you want to throw away your reason of life only for this feeling?' 'They said, too, that it was my fault that I can't fit in this group. And I really don't. I'm not existing to have friends. Why didn't I see that? I have to kill them! I want to kill them! I exist to kill them. To kill anyone other than me, to fight only for myself and only love myself. As long as there are people to kill in this world, to make me experience the joy of living, my existence will remain'

Ino attended Hinata home. They were talking about Gaara, but Hinata's thoughts were with Naruto. It had been a long day, they have been training together the first time. It had been great! Ino talked about Gaara's amazing techniques, but Hinata thought about Naruto. Would he ever recognize her? She had seen some of his really incredible jiutsus today and she knew she would never come up with him. Suddenly they stood at her door and Ino asked: "Daijoubuka?" "Nani? Ah.. daijoubu!", Hinata answered a little too late. Ino shook her head. Hinata knew she'd like to say something about Naruto, but she didn't, because she knew it was embarrassing for Hinata. Hinata sighed and opened the door. "Arigato gosaimasu!", she said and smiled. Then she went inside and closed the door. "Tadaima", Hinata shouted and Neji came in. "Daijoubuka?", he asked. "Hai! Daijoubu!", Hinata answered and smiled. "You look a bit… confused", Neji determined anxious. "It's okay", she said and hugged him. She wanted to go to her room, but suddenly…

So who was this boy? To hug her like that?! Gaara was angry. About everything. About Hinata, this boy, Naruto… the whole world! Why? He broke the window with a wall of sand and jumped through it. Only Shukaku was pleased. He had no control about the body he was living in, but the owner of the body did exactly what he wanted him to do. He beat Neji in the face so he fell to the floor. Gaara gave Shukaku more power. There was blood! More! He wanted more. Hinata seemed to be frozen. "Gaara-San…" 'That's easy', Shukaku thought with satisfaction and wanted to cover her with sand to kill her. "No", Gaara and Neji shouted at the same time, but Gaara only in his mind, so that just Shukaku could hear him. He still didn't want to kill her. Somehow he couldn't. Thinking of her, he could get back enough power over the monster to see Neji stand up and Ino come through the door. Then he fell into the darkness.

'…to kill everyone other than me… only love myself… will remain… some other way!' But Shukaku was too strong.

Neji threw her down to protect her when Gaara caste sand in Hinata's direction. She was kind of… sad. She couldn't move. Gaara, a betrayer? Had he just affect to be interested in their friendship to spy and then kill them all? He had ever seemed so dreamily and honest. So peacefully, although she knew he had ever been an emotionless killer. The blow of Neji's body pulling her down to the floor brought her back to real life. Her father stood before her and Neji and tried to protect her with his life. Suddenly a needle of sand from behind him hit him in the neck. He fell down. Hinata couldn't even scream, but she crawled to him and felt his pulse. But… there was none! Through a shroud of tears she realized Ino had come in. She must have heard the breaking window. She did her mind transfer technique on Gaara. Her body sank down and the flow of sand around Gaara dropped. But then Gaara let out a roar that didn't even sound like his voice and Ino breathed with her own body again. She seemed to be unconscious. "Hinata, run away!", her father said calmly, "you are the future of our clan, take her away from here and run!". He indicated on the limp body of Ino. Hinata understood and did what he told her to. She heard them still fighting long after she had left the house. She knew even her father had no chance to win if the monster inside Gaara was awake.

Hinata brought Ino to the hospital. She felt her pulse. It was slow and weak. "Her current state is critical. We'll do what we can.", a doctor shouted at her while he was carrying Ino away quickly. She softly nodded, but she was shocked. Her cousin was dead! It was such a simple death. He didn't even fight really. He just… was dead. It was so simple, but Hinata couldn't get it. 'Father!', she thought. She ran out and activated her Byakugan. She searched for the Hyuuga house, found it and scanned it for living people. She just saw Gaara. He was sitting in the corner of the destroyed room. She couldn't find her father's body anywhere. He must be dead! Of course he was. Gaara was still alive, wasn't he? Then suddenly she noticed a dead body in the house. It wasn't Neji's. It wasn't her father's also. It was Hanabi's! Her sister had fought for her! Fought against Gaara! And had lost! Hinata ran. She just ran away in any direction. Nobody should ever find her. She was so ashamed of herself! She couldn't dare to be seen by anyone any more.

Gaara sensed that she was leaving. He slowly stood up and followed her from the house of the Hyuuga clan. He had time. Time to see her suffer. And then to see her blood run down her soft skin… There was again this pain in his heart, but he didn't regard it. He would never regard it again. Shukaku was right. It made him weak! And he couldn't risk being weak, when he was going to kill anyone other than himself and only love himself. And that was his only goal, his only reason of life. Hinata was heading west. Gaara smirked. So he could kill her and go home in one way. That was useful. But even if he didn't want to, he still felt his heart aching in his chest.

Hinata strove her way through the forest, while she had tears in her eyes. She only ran, and didn't even know where. She didn't stop before she broke down. She could just move enough to hide in the next hiding-place she found.

He followed her slowly. When she stopped and crawled into her hiding- place, he knew where she was, but he didn't do anything. He had easily kept up with her, but he had particularly watched her. He had time. Lazily Gaara moved in the direction of the hole, she was hiding in. He saw her and he stopped breathing. His heart began beating faster just by seeing her. She was so innocent and peaceful! How would he be able to do anything to her? 'What are you doing?', Shukaku's thoughts brought Gaara back to real life. His facial expression changed back to normal and he quietly said to himself: "She's so weak. I won't do anything to her if she doesn't even realize." With a bit self conquest he added: "That's boring!" He stood up, went out of the hole and disappeared into the darkness to find a good sleeping place.

When Hinata awoke, she immediately knew what had happened last night. "Gaara-Kun…", she whispered. She still couldn't believe it. She sat up and just looked at the wall of the cave for minutes, before she realized she probably was trailed. She got up quickly and activated her Byakugan. She scanned the area and found Gaara a good distance south-east of her. She was confident with that, and realized why it felt so wrong to smile only a bit later. A single tear left its salty mark on her face, before she stood up and left her hiding-place.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter III

He had followed and watched her for almost a week now. But he still couldn't kill her. Every day he sat at her side and watched her sleeping before telling the monster in his head another lie and excuse. Today he stayed beneath her a very long time. Gaara couldn't take his eyes of her beautiful body, that lay there this peacefully. He slowly reached for her face with one finger and softly and carefully touched her gentle skin not to wake her up. His heart stopped and than began to beat much faster than before. She was real. He could touch her, and feel her. She really existed! Somehow he couldn't believe that until now. While Gaara was still fascinated from this experience, Shukaku was angry. The body he had at free disposal was becoming weak! When the monster began to talk with a simulated bored voice in his head, Gaara pulled shocked his hand from Hinata. The emotionless facial expression returned onto his face and he left Hinata's cache without a word.

After he had sat down on a tree branch far enough away from her to sleep he deliberated. He couldn't sleep. He thought and thought and couldn't stop his mind from thinking. There was always this pressure around his heart and Gaara felt like if he would sleep he would simply burst from all this unthought thoughts and unfelt feelings. It was hard to stand that even with doing that. He wanted to speak it out loudly. And he would if he was alone. Being alone… he never wanted to be alone this much so far. But there was still Shukaku! There always was Shukaku. He wanted to be free of this monster. He wanted his mind only for himself and he wanted his thoughts and feelings only for himself. He didn't want the monster to know what he was feeling, because he dismissed it as weakness. But against Shukaku Gaara had realized he was stronger then ever. Maybe this feeling wasn't that bad. Maybe he should just tolerate it. It was so… indescribable. And although he had the need to describe it, to talk about it with anyone, he couldn't. The whole night he was awake. But he didn't mind, because so he could feel and deliberate all the time. And somehow he liked this feeling. To remember how it felt to touch Hinata's skin. It filled his head so much, that he didn't even hear Shukaku anymore.

Hianta woke up. She activated her Byakugan immediately and recognized, that Gaara was sitting on a tree branch still a bit away from her. He just sat there and gazed into the air. Again he seemed so dreamily like Hinata knew him since Naruto had brought him to their gang. Naruto… Hinata realized that she hadn't thought of him for a while. Of course. Her whole family was dead. Killed by someone who had somehow become her friend. She remembered the few days they had been happy. After he had been so unapproachable to them and before he suddenly changed and killed her father, sister and cousin. These days, although they hadn't been much, made Hinata smile a little. Now remembering this experience, she recognized that Gaara had often tried to look her in the eyes, but she had always automatically and shyly looked away. But… why? She knew she had a bit strange eyes, but Gaara's were also not that normal! A kind of stabbing hit her heart when she saw his eyes in front of her in her mind. She wanted to see them again. They were like hers somehow. Empty, but not emotionless if he didn't want them to. Deep inside Hinata hoped it was only the monster inside him that had attacked her family and he could change, but why did he trail her then? And, by the way, why was he so slow? Did he want to see her suffering? He couldn't be that slow, could he? She watched him for a long time as he sat there and stared into the sky. But she forbid herself to feel that way when she thought of her family again. She had to fight! Sighing she stood up and began to run away again. What else should she do? He just was too strong.

The next evening Hinata could think clearly again. The shock about the death of her family slowly faded a little. She had set up traps today. And the first time since her escape she thought about where actually she went. She was sure Gaara would never die of one of the traps, but she hoped he would get hurt or just be delayed. But anytime she would have to fight him. Anytime he would keep up to her. She wouldn't sleep! She would train!, she decided. Train for this final fight, to make her family see how strong she could be, if they were watching her. She was training at a lake at night. It was like when she was on that mission with Naruto and Shino. And somehow the training was helping her to control her thoughts and feelings better. Because she remembered this mission she thought again about Naruto. She missed him, but she realized she didn't love him anymore. She had felt so much pain the last days, or were it weeks yet? She didn't really know. And with this pain in her heart her love wasn't important any more. It wasn't _existing_ anymore. But she didn't know how to think about this. She didn't really feel different, but the love she felt for Naruto had always been there in her life and she wasn't sure about how to handle with that new experience. Her life had always been targeted on that goal. 'Find another one to love?' This thought twitched snaky through her mind. She was ashamed because she had thought that. But she couldn't have avoided it. Her thoughts went their own way. That was so… She had loved Naruto for so long and now just find another one? She talked herself into believing she had never thought that. Her new goal was to kill Gaara!

When she awoke the next day, she felt better. The training had been a good idea. She yawned and stretched. She had a goal again. That felt good. Searching for Gaara with her Byakugan and watching him a bit had become some kind of ritual already. She recognized he was not further away then the days before, but he was hurt. There was a big scratch on his arm. So one of her traps could trick the sand and hit him. She sighed, closed her eyes and slowly opened them again. Then she left her hiding-place and started her daily routine again. Since she had fled from Konoha she has always been heading west through the forest. Amazed she recognized she ran exactly in the direction where Gaara's home was, the sand village. She didn't mind. They weren't enemies. She didn't know if his siblings would fight on his side if she was obviously against him, but she didn't really mean to walk into the village. She would fight as soon as possible. But first she had to become stronger! Suddenly the forest began getting brighter and then slowly concluded. The landscape got drier and Hinata started to think how she would get water when the real desert began. Why had she run exactly this way?

To keep the right distance between them got more and more difficult. If he got too close to her she would recognize him and he could no longer affect he couldn't keep up to her. But if he got too far away, he could lose her trail… He grudged Hinata for her Byakugan, he would have really needed it now. Shukaku roared in his mind whenever he was able to, when Gaara's thoughts weren't with Hinata, though that wasn't very often. Deep inside Gaara knew he loved Hinata, but he would never admit it, not even to himself. His mind had no idea, but he should listen to his heart, that he had tried to simply switch off for years, so he didn't really know what was going on. He was used to ignore it.

Gaara walked through the dry area, his head directed to earth lost in thought. All of a sudden he heard the sound of a fight. A scream, two Shuriken colliding. He went faster, then began to run.

Hiding behind a wall of sand, Gaara watched what was happening. It seemed like two men had attacked Hinata. She was fighting bitterly, and Gaara first recognized she was really good. He knew the two Ninja, they were from his village and very dangerous. They were advanced Ninja, even Gaara himself would have problems to defeat them. He had to admit Hinata looked more defenseless than she actually was. He had also watched her training the last evening, she surely was strong. He felt impulses of his heart to help her, but he talked himself to believe the two men were only doing his work, and he somehow was thankful for that, because he knew he wouldn't have been able to do that. Shukaku also was content with that solution, even if he wouldn't kill her himself, this finally would have an end. He would never let something like this happen again.


	4. Chapter 4

Please review and tell me my mistakes. About the story, grammar, logic, everything you see, even if you think it was just a careless mistake. Thx… .

Btw, if you don't understand the Japanese words, tell me, I'll translate them then

Slowly Hinata ran out of power. She remembered a similar situation, the fight against Neji during the Chuunin Exam, but that time she had known he would never really hurt her. But she hadn't given up, although she had known she had no chance against her cousin. And this time she wouldn't either. That was her way of the Ninja! Naruto had taught her that, never giving up. With a sad smile on her face and tears in her eyes she thought she maybe would have been able to talk normally to Naruto if she would have come back sometime. Now, that she didn't love him anymore… She fought as well as she could while letting her thoughts go their own way. But then an Shuriken hit her on her side. It was too late. She had fought with everything she had. But she had lost too much blood. There were plenty of more or less deep wounds everywhere on her body. And the last thing she thought before she fell down was wondering where Gaara was.

Gaara saw her falling down. Was she dead? He closed his eyes before she touched earth. He just heard that sound of her body bumping down. Something warm and liquid ran down his face. 'Why am I bleeding?', he wondered. But after touching his face and looking at his wet fingers, he recognized he was crying. Shukaku was furious. 'See how weak she made you?' But Gaara couldn't hear him. He was broken down. He lay on the sandy ground and sobbed quietly. Now he understood! He loved her! He had loved her all the time. He was sure, if there was a feeling in the world that deserved to be called love, then that was it. It had to be! Why hadn't he recognized earlier? Now it was too late. He didn't dare to look up. She was dead. He could have helped her. He hadn't. 'Doushite?', he cried out. He didn't mind any more if they heard him. So they should kill him as well. If Hinata didn't deserve to live he didn't, too. But they didn't recognize him.

When Gaara dared to look up again, he got faced with a picture he would never forget. His eyes widened with horror. One of the Ninja sat upon Hinata's inanimate body an kissed horny her neck while the other one stand beneath them and watched it grinning and voluptuous. Gaara was frozen and shocked. How could destiny be so cruel? Then, the feeling of his body came slowly back. His face distorted and he let out an enormous roar. His sand hideout dropped and he ran towards the locale of his horror. He beat that dumb grinning guy in the face and meanwhile the sand threw the other one away from Hinata's body. Normally, Gaara didn't use Taijutsu, but he was so furious, he did a tough fistfight with one of them, while the sand took care of the other one. They were beaten quickly. They hung in the air, covered with sand. Gaara pressed the sand a bit tighter, so that they screamed with pain. 'Hinata wouldn't want this', this thought suddenly appeared in his mind and his tense face unbent a little. Then it became tough again. 'I don't care.' What they had done was unforgivable. He loved Hinata, he really, _really_ loved her, but that wouldn't make him weak! In order to protect her he didn't want to show weakness any more. Because he had one time, just this one time, and it had cost her life. He clenched his hand into a fist and the two men screamed with pain and bloody sand showered over Gaara and Hinata. Then Gaara fell down and cried.

When Hinata woke up, her head ached. She couldn't see anything. Everything was gray until it began to get contours. She felt she lay in a bed, and she could see the ceiling of a room, but when she moved her head she got dizzy again. Had she been dreaming? Did she lay at home, with her whole family still living and waiting for her to stand up? But it had seemed so real…

She rubbed her head and thought about it. When she thought she could without fainting again, she raised her head and took up her environment. The room was relatively empty, there was a shelf without anything in it and a desk, which looked like it hadn't been used for a long time. No pictures or ornaments, only bare walls. When her look fell on the window she recognized Gaara was sitting there on a chair watching the area behind the window. "Gaara-kun", she said without thinking. Gaara seemed to twitch a bit, but maybe she had just imagined that. He slowly turned around to her and said with this emotionless face: "So you finally woke up". Hinata realized his eyes which had quickly been examining her body that was only covered with a thin nightdress she wore. She blushed and pulled her blanket over her body. Gaara looked down and turned even more pale instead of red. While thinking of who arguably had dressed her into that dress, she blushed anymore and almost disappeared under her blanket. Like he knew what she was thinking, Gaara said: "Temari washed and dressed you". Hinata relaxed a little. "What happened?", she asked after a while. "Gomen nasai", he said and quickly left the room without looking at her. Confused she stared at the closed door.

Gaara cursed himself after leaving the room. Ever after he had brought her here and it was sure she would wake up again, he had thought of how to explain it to her. Why he had killed her family. What had happened. That he loved her. Now that he had seen her awake again, it was even more difficult than in his mind. He hadn't been able to explain. His throat had been so dry. No explanation could justify what he had done. While thinking, he bumped into Temari, who was going to look for Hinata. "What happened? Shouldn't you supervise her?" When she recognized he was shaking all over and even paler then usually, she quickly put the medicine away she had carried, and took Gaara with her to softly push him onto a sofa in the living room. "What is it?", she asked softly and lay a hand on his shoulder. She could be very sensitive when needed. And Gaara was thankful for that at the moment. "I can't tell her", he said. "I can't forgive myself, so why should she?" Tears came out of his dark hemmed eyes. Temari, obviously shocked of seeing her brother cry, what made him stop immediately, said: "You have to tell her. Even if she doesn't forgive you, you know she has the right to hear what happened. And after all that it wasn't you who…" "But it was me!", Gaara interfered. "Why can't I even control my body?" "You just have to explain that feeling to her. Nobody else can do that for you. I'm sure she'll understand. Doesn't she love that blonde fox-boy? Isn't he similar to you in that way?" Temari didn't know how much she hurt Gaara with her words. He stood up and only said "arigato" before leaving.

Hinata awoke when a soft and gentle hand touched her forehead and put something pleasant cool on it. She opened her eyes and looked into Gaara's face. Suddenly, and without being asked, he opened his mouth and began to explain.

_Flashback_

After Gaara had recovered himself a little, he stood up and went to Hinata. He sat down beneath her body and began to take the blood and sand off her body and clothing. After that, he picked her up and carried her with him. He didn't know where, but it wasn't really important. The main thing was, that she was with him. After walking a long time in the desert, under the hot burning sun, Gaara heard a quiet sigh. He immediately looked down on Hinata's body, but couldn't see any movement. It had just been his imagination. He stroked a wisp of hair out of her face and pressed her body on his chest in order to move on. And then he felt it! Her heartbeat. He sunk down on his knees and felt her pulse. He hadn't even thought about that before! Her pulse was weak, but she actually lived. He pulled her up again and ran as fast as he could. Home. To his home, where Temari helped him to rescue her. Two days later she had awoken the first time. Gaara had been watching her the whole time. He hadn't eaten and he hadn't slept.

_End Flashback_

After Gaara had shortly narrated what had happened, Hinata was confused. She shyly looked into his face. Then she stammered: "But… W..Why?" "We aren't enemies after all, are we?", Gaara only answered and raised an eyebrow. "S.. so desu", she said, but she still thought it was weird to hear that from the one who killed her whole family. As if he had heard what she had thought, Gaara sighed and sat down. He looked at her openly and then told her all about that feeling to have a monster inside. He seemed not only Hinata, but himself trying to convince of his innocence. Or even that it hadn't been only his fault.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry if it's a bit messed up… I tried to shorten my paragraphs a little. I hope it's better to read like this… actually, I don't think this is much better, but I really try xD

Chapter V

Gaara had been sitting at Hinata's bed for hours. They had only talked. Talked, more openly than Gaara ever had before. He told Hinata everything. His childhood, his loneliness, every single feeling he had felt since he remembered. Except from one. He just couldn't tell her that he loved her. It would only make things more difficult. He still was a danger to her. She should go home. Home to Konoha, to Naruto, the boy she obviously loved.

He wasn't jealous of Naruto anymore. Hinata should be happy, and Naruto… well, Naruto had somehow become his only and his best friend, even if it hadn't really worked with his gang. And Naruto could offer safety to her…

After Gaara had finished his story, they stayed silent for a while. Then Hinata moved a little and sat up in her bed. She hugged Gaara and said: "Arigatou gosaimasu. Thank you for your trust." Gaara blushed. Hinata felt his tenseness and let go of him. Quickly, he bowed his head, so she couldn't see his blush. Then he stood up and left her room.

Hinata had a guilty conscience. Gaara, too. Obviously Hinata had done something wrong, but she didn't know with what actually she had hurt Gaara's feelings. He on the other hand knew how she was feeling right now. She hadn't done anything wrong, just how could he explain?

So this night both of them slept really badly.

When Gaara woke up, he immediately knew what had happened last evening without thinking about it. And he wanted to apologize. He stood up and slowly went out of his room. Really tired, because he almost hadn't slept that night, he scuffled to Hinata's room, knocked quietly and went inside. Hinata looked at him with reddened eyes. Had she slept that badly? Or had she cried? Gaara sighed and set down on the edge of her bed.

He wanted to stroke her hair. To solace her. But he wasn't able to touch her. He tried to smile and said: "Sumimasen. I didn't want to hurt you." Hinata nodded. But she still looked so sad. Gaara smiled a little more and used all his courage to rise his shaking hand and wipe out a wisp of hair from her face.

She raised her head and looked at him. Then she took his hand. "Why is your hand shaking?", she asked worried. "I'll bring you something to eat", he just said. He stood up and left the room. As soon as she couldn't see him anymore, a wide smile spread over his face. He closed the door and stood there, unmoving, for a while. Then he looked serious again and went downstairs to prepare some food for Hinata.

Gaara put a salver onto the kitchen table. When Hinata was well again, she had to leave.

He took an apple and began to peel it.

'She will be happy, someday she will marry Naruto, and both of them will be happy.'

He put the apple aside and took an orange.

'I don't want her to leave!'

He put the almost squished orange beneath the peeled apple.

'What will happen to me?'

He hacked some figs into tiny pieces.

'It doesn't matter what happens to me, dammit!', he thought and began to cut up the apple aggressively.

He had tears in his eyes again.

'See this weakness?', Shukaku suddenly appeared in Gaara's mind again.

'The only weakness is, that I can hear you again', Gaara thought bitterly.

"And that I want her to be ill forever, dammit!"

Somebody knocked on her door. "Dozo", Hinata said, and Gaara came in with a salver with a bowl and a glass. He put it onto the blanket over her knees and she began to eat the a bit pulpy fruit. She remembered a similar situation, when she had been ill after a hard mission and Neji had had to attend her. Back then they had been talking, and that day they had become friends. That day Neji had stopped hating her for being in the head branch. And she cursed that day now, because now she missed her cousin even more.

She didn't know why, but suddenly she began to tell Gaara this story.

"I really miss him", she closed.

He wanted to say something. Sure. She would as well.

Before he had decided what to say, she meant: "You don't need to apologize again. You've said enough. I understand your feelings now."

She was a little helpless. How could she explain to him, that it was okay now?

"Nobody has suffered as much as you. Nobody would have acted different with a… monster inside.", she tried again.

"Yes! Naruto would. Actually… he did."

"Wha… What do you mean?"

"So he did never tell you? Actually, it shouldn't really surprise me. I wouldn't have told you either, if it hadn't been necessary."

When he saw her confused look, he laughed. " I think, er… under these circumstances I can tell you. Naruto is a Jinjuuriki, too."

"He… has also a monster inside?", Hinata asked a little shocked.

"Yes. But he seems to be able to handle with that a bit better. He never attacked your family, did he?"

"No but… so that's the reason why you became friends that quickly! He… he might be the only one to understand you, er?"

"Well, I think you are understanding me, too. Both of us.", he smiled, "You seem to have suffered as well", his look was serious again. "Will you tell me about it?"

First Hinata didn't want to tell him and began a bit haltingly, but the longer she spoke, the more she trusted Gaara. She told him everything about her childhood, about her father, who never had satisfied with her, her sister and cousin, who always had been better than her and the curse to be seen as someone better, just because she was born in a 'better' part of the family. The hatred of her cousin. The duty to lead the Hyuuga clan, from that she had fled. Even if there wasn't anymore anyone to lead…

In the end, Hinata slept with her head in Gaara's lap. He had lay his arms around her. Lost in thought he stroke though her hair. It was smooth and soft and he enjoyed it. When he realized what he was doing, he wondered if he even was allowed to do something like that. She didn't love him, did she? So using the situation… But maybe… maybe she _did_. Maybe she loved him as well. And so, dreaming of what could happen in that case, he didn't mind or even realize he went on with stroking her gentle hair.

When Hinata awoke her head lay in Gaara's lap. She had no idea how it got there. Immediately she arose and looked at Gaara, who had been watching the air through the open window. Slowly Hinata remembered their talk from yesterday. And how she had fallen asleep. She blushed, but Gaara acted as he didn't realize. He smiled at her and stretched his legs.

"Have you been… sitting there all night?", Hinata asked a little shocked. "Go… Gomen nasai"

"Oh", Gaara did a casual gesture with his hand, "It's ok, I don't mind"

"You could have waked me up, it must have hurt to sit like this for hours!"

Gaara smiled. No pain in the world would have kept him away from staying with Hinata like that all night.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter VI

"You will soon be well again", Gaara said and smiled. He had been smiling more often the last time.

"Hai", Hinata said. She smiled too, but it was only fake. She didn't want to feign in front of Gaara, but she didn't want to trouble him, too. Behind her smile, Hinata was confused and fearful. They hadn't been talking about what should happen after she would have recovered yet, but they would have to soon.

"Can you fetch your lunch by yourself today? Kankouro asked me to go training with him and my sister today."

"Oh", Hinata was disappointed. And she couldn't hide it fast enough. Gaara sighed and sat down on her bed. "Gomen, but I really have to train again. And… and it's the first time my brother asked me to train with him. I will be back in the afternoon, ok?"

This time, Hinata's smile was real. "I'm glad, does that mean finally there are more people to trust you?"

"Yes", Gaara laughed, "but they're my siblings!"

"Even better", Hinata said and grinned.

"Yeah, maybe… But I have a bad conscience about leaving you alone here. If something happens to you… After all, it's all thanks to you that I can go training with my siblings today."

"It's ok. I get along. As you said, I'm almost well again."

"Er… ok, arigatou", he said and stood up.

"Good luck, and have fun!"

When the siblings had left the house, Hinata stood up and slowly eat the breakfast, Gaara had brought her before. While eating, she thought about her relationship with Gaara. She trusted him, there was no doubt that he really had become _good_. And she could tell him everything. He was the first one, whom she really trusted, the first one who had become her friend. A friend she could believe in. She hadn't ever given that much credit to a person, neither to her parents, nor to Neji. Not even to Ino. She didn't even miss Ino.

She went downstairs and brought her still half filled plate in the kitchen. She knew Gaara wouldn't like this, but after that, she decided to go for a walk through the big garden right behind the house. In the garden, there was a big variety of flowers and other plants. It seemed to Hinata like the time before she woke up in this house was separated from the life she had now. Somehow like it was not real, like an earlier life before.

And with all the love Gaara gave Hinata with attending her and talking to her, he took away all the pain of this life, that she left behind. And it didn't matter anymore that he had taken this life away. This much lives…

Hinata had finished that life! She never wanted to go back. She didn't know what she wanted to do after she had recovered. But she knew she had to leave this house. This wonderful house she had learned to love the time she had been staying here. And the garden was even greater and more beautiful than she had seen through the window. She wanted to stay.

Gaara was her new family. Gaara, and Kankouro and Temari. Her new friends in her new little world. A colorful and perfect world, she never wanted to leave again and that she loved so much, even if she hadn't been here for long. She felt so fresh here, like she had been reborn. When she'd go back to Konoha, she would feel all the pain again. She would lose her family once again. The only one left would be Ino. But in that case she could never talk to her again. She was part of the old world. The world she never wanted to remember or think of again.

Should she begin the talk with Gaara? They had to talk sometime, but why shouldn't she wait and enjoy her wonderful new life, until Gaara would start this important talk? "Because it's unfair!", she murmured morose and kicked a little stone, that lay in her way through the garden. She had never imagined how much plants could grow in a desert. The fresh air and the stunning smell of the flowers livened her senses. She intended to talk to Gaara after he would have returned.

Hinata didn't want to admit, but deep inside, she imagined, how she could ask Gaara, if she could stay. She hated herself for thinking that. That wasn't right! She couldn't do that! But she couldn't stop her thoughts and already knew she would – somehow – guide the talk in this direction. But… but what if Gaara relapsed? It happened once before. And last time her whole family got killed…

'But', Hinata thought, 'the only one left he could kill to steal me someone important, would be himself.'

And if he did that she would probably follow him.

The worst thing she could do was not trusting him. He would recognize it. And the effect would be dire. Deterministic she turned around and quickly went into the house again. She would try to recover a little.

At the same time, Gaara was training. He was bad. Really, _really_ bad. All the time he thought about Hinata, it was kind of pitiful to watch him, if you knew his abilities of course. And Gaara was thankful his siblings didn't. But even they noticed something was wrong with him. Of course Gaara wondered, if his thoughts about Hinata would impair his abilities forever, but he knew this thought came from Shukaku. The monster wanted him to think that Hinata made him weak. He didn't hear his voice any more, but he still knew his body of thought.

Gaara wasn't sure what to do. Try to forget about her for the moment? Continue thinking about her? Think even more about her, so that it would come to an end and not handicap him anymore?

He tried the first method. But soon he saw it was hopeless. And shortly after, he forgot thinking about what to think and just thought about Hinata again.

He was afraid of their talk about what should happen after she had recovered. She probably wouldn't like it either to have to go… but, maybe exactly that was, what she wanted. It would be very self-important of him to think she wanted to stay just because of him. Gaara sighed. He couldn't help it, but he hated that thought. Temari, who interpreted the sound he just made as an expression of pain, asked, if he was all right.

"Daijobu", he just answered and grinned a little helpless.

Temari shrugged and continued attacking him.

Gaara was a bit surprised, but could ward the attack at the last moment. He shook his head to expel his thoughts. What has to come would come and he couldn't stop it from coming. And it wouldn't get better from thinking about it all the time.

When Gaara and his siblings returned from their training, Hinata had made lunch. "Arigatou", Gaara said surprised. "You didn't have to do that", Temari spoke. "I had nothing to do anyways", Hinata smiled. So the siblings set the table and eat all together. For the first time in their life. Gaara was moved. They were just like a familiy.

Hinata felt a little inappropriate. They were a family, and she wasn't supposed to sit here with them. They were so happy and talked about the training today. She couldn't even say something. As time passed, she felt worse and worse. Sometime she took all her courage and suddenly stood up from the table. "Thank you for the meal", she said. "Actually, you cooked it", Temari laughed. 'But you paid it', Hinata thought, but she bewared of speak that out loudly.

When Hinata was back in her room, she quietly closed the door and slowly walked to the window. She could see the sunset, that made her room shine in a warm orange. She sighed. Didn't she want to talk to him today? Tears shimmered in her eyes. Why did she have to be so shy?

Suddenly the door of her room opened. She wiped away her tears quickly and Gaara almost managed to seem as he hadn't noticed.

"Gomen", he said, "I should have knocked".

He wanted to close the door, but Hinata quickly said: "No! Please come in"

Gaara was rattled. Then he decided to come in and closed the door behind him.

"I wanted to…", both of them started. Hinata grinned ironic and blushed, Garra said after a little break: "…talk to you"

Hinata took a deep breath and together with it all her courage and began to talk: "I just… wanted to tell you, that I really trust you."

She waited a second.

"I really feel well again and it's moving how much you bother me."

As Gaara didn't answer, she continued.

"I have to thank you. You have done so much for me."

Now he wanted to disturb, but Hinata just wanted to keep talking now.

"I know what you want to say, you have told me that often enough. Really, I know it, and you don't have to tell me anymore. I wanted you to know that I trust you. That I count on you and you can count on me, too. I told you things about me, I would never have told another one. I would have been embarrassed talking like this to anyone else. And…"

It just came out, although she didn't want it to.

"And I want it to stay like this."

Gaara said nothing.

"I…", began Hinata.

"What are you going to do after you will have recovered?", Gaara asked directly.

Hinata was a little surprised but she had been waiting for this talk. But she didn't know the answer.

"I don't know", she just said. Tears appeared in her eyes and suddenly she began to cry and almost fell into Gaara's arms.

"Please… Please come back with me"

She couldn't stay. The best thing would be if he would come with her. Everything else would be impossible. She knew it was impolite, but she couldn't stand being alone.

"Please…", she sobbed. Then she stopped crying and said with a trembling voice: "Gomen, I… I am stupid."

She disentangled from his arms and turned her back in his direction to look through the window. The sun bedazzled her, but she didn't look away. She didn't want to see Gaara's face. She would never go back on her own. She could go somewhere else, but never back to Konoha!

He laid his hand on her shoulder and she trembled under his touch.

"Please…" She let her head dip and tried to hold back her tears. Then Gaara's strong hand turned her back, so she could look into his eyes.

Fascinated, she looked into this strange eyes for a moment, the next thing she noticed were his smooth lips on hers.

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I can't help it. I always write so damn long paragraphs. I'm really sorry, I'll keep trying. I know, it took me really long, but this chapter got longer than the last ones I think. Thanks for reviewing, please proceed, it's very encouraging.


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